I keep hearing people say, “Life begins at 40.”

And honestly?

I don’t believe that.

Your life didn’t begin at 40.

You lived a whole lot of life before you got here.

You built a career, raised your babies or supported family members. You loved people, lost people, made mistakes, survived things nobody knows about, learned lessons the hard way, and became the woman you are now.

That life counts, too.

So no, life doesn’t begin at 40.

But I do believe something can happen around this age.

You start asking better questions.

Questions like, “Is this all there is?”

“Do I really want to do this for another 20 years?”

“Where did I go while I was busy taking care of everybody else?”

And maybe the hardest one:

“What do I want now?”

Those questions can feel selfish when you’ve spent years being the dependable one.

The manager of the job, the house, the appointments, the emotions, and whatever crisis popped up before lunch.

Everybody praises how well you handle everything, but somewhere inside you’re thinking, “I’m tired of being strong all the time.”

And then here comes somebody on social media telling you to reinvent your life in 90 days.

Girl, please.

You don't need another person pretending your mortgage, your family, your energy, your caregiving responsibilities, and your real-life obligations don’t exist.

They do exist.

But so do you.

And wanting something that belongs to you doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for the life you have.

It may mean there’s a part of you that has been set aside for so long that you barely remember her.

That doesn’t mean she’s gone.

Maybe this season isn’t about becoming a brand-new woman.

Maybe it’s about meeting yourself again (sounds amazing, right?).

The woman who had ideas.

The woman who wanted to build a coaching business/ministry.

The woman who knew she was capable of more than keeping everybody else’s life running smoothly.

You don’t have to blow up your whole life to make room for her (I promise).

But you do need to stop pretending she doesn’t exist.

Today, give yourself ten quiet minutes and ask:

What part of me have I been missing?

Do not answer that question with what you should want.

Tell yourself the truth.

Hit reply and tell me what came up.

Talk to ya Thursday.

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Rooting for you always,

Monique

P.S. You aren’t having a midlife crisis because you want more for yourself! You may finally be paying attention to the woman you had to put on hold.

Monique Addison-Stinson

Founder Business Church Life​

I show Christian women over 40 how to package their skills into Kingdom work and get paid for it.

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